Swiping Over 40: Dating In a Fast Food World: A Book About Online Dating 

Swiping Over 40: Dating In A Fast Food World is a “he said, she said” book that explores the internet dating process step-by-step for mature women who are either actively involved in or considering internet dating. Written by Kathlyn Heim, this guide to online dating at an older age comically compares dating via the internet with fast food dining.

Fortunately, having literally thousands of dating prospects at the click of a button, we have choices, perhaps too many choices. Like 31 flavors, one can choose mint chip today, bing-cherry tomorrow, and rainbow sherbet the following day. 

Dating in the dark ages, as our parents knew it, no longer exists. Gone are the days when two people meet and embark on the relationship journey. Gone are the days when a man asks for a number, calls the woman, plans a date, picks her up at her home, and pays for the date, and asks you out for date #2. Gone are the days when two people find each other and commit to dating only each other and “see where it leads.”

In today’s world of internet dating, the process may look more like this: You like each other’s profile and send a message. You agree to meet in a public place,  go “dutch” on the check, then part ways. You get home, login to the site, and see he is “online now!”  Statistically speaking, chances are high that the first date will also be your last date!  

With this shift in the dating paradigm, comes a whole new set of guidelines, or rules. What exactly are those rules, and how do we learn them? Many books have been written in relation to dating and even online dating. Although informative, dating books of the past were written for a specific gender, by the same gender.  

A Guide For Older Women Taking Their Chances On Internet Dating

Swiping Over 40 is unique as it tells older women everything they need to know about online dating, and includes the new set of rules of meeting potential partners through the internet. This new set of rules were formulated from the perspectives of both a woman and a man. Although quite humorous and a fun, easy read, Swiping Over 40 is a written guide to online dating that has two main points in mind – safety while meeting people through the internet, and how to find the perfect match!


“It was 2012.  My marriage of nearly 17 years had ended.  I was sitting alone on the couch in the dimly lit condo in which I was renting.  I was feeling lonely and desperate to find love.  I was praying for my “soulmate” to come into my life, sweep me off my feet, and together we would live happily ever after, you know, like in the movies.  I still believed in fairy tales, love songs, and happy endings. 

 As an ER nurse, I worked closely with many men and women, a lot of whom were single.  I heard a lot about internet dating from my co-workers who encouraged me to “get onboard” and check it out.   Initially I was apprehensive about “putting myself out there.”  Prior to this point in time I had led what I consider to be a fairly private life.  I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to expose myself to people I didn’t know as it seemed kind of creepy…and desperate!

It was on this dark, lonely night, that I finally made the decision to enter the mysterious world of internet dating.  I registered on a very popular dating site.  I completed my profile with minimal information and, no pics!  Yes, I said it, NO PICS, which I later discovered was committing online dating suicide!  Why no pics you ask? Simple, I didn’t want anyone I knew to see me on here and think I was desperate. I was not desperate, or was I?  For any of you who are familiar with online dating, as you can imagine, I only received a few messages. Online dating is very visual. Many involved are skeptical and righteously so, as I learned with experience.  Those few messages I did receive were from the most desperate of the desperate, coming from men who had been on this site for years, and are still looking.  “Looking for what?,” I asked myself…Love, friendship, a “hook up?!”  

After a couple weeks of no success, I bit the bullet!  You guessed it, I posted a photo, game on!! The messages came in by the hundreds.  I began responding and participating in multiple conversations.  I began exchanging cell phone numbers conversing via text and phone.  I was struggling to keep track of who was who so, I created a file with pics and bullet points of information in attempts to prevent confusing one with another. 

Then it started…the “requests” for more pics.  Apparently, they wanted to see more of me. More, meaning, me naked in precarious positions. Oh, and let’s not forget the barrage of pictures of a man’s male anatomy. I almost had to shield myself as it was truly raining dicks!

What happened to the men that were looking for love? Is this love? I never saw this in the fairy tales and mom surely never mentioned this in “the talk!”

As time went by I gained a magnitude of experience. Over 100 dates allowed me to progress from dating novice to dating expert.  I was now a professional internet dater (more commonly referred to as a serial dater).  I was able to “weed out” the men from the boys, or so I thought!  

Years of both mine, and my peers, unsuccessful attempts to find love on the internet left me feeling even more lonely, and even a bit depressed. My self-esteem had definitely taken a hit. If others can make it happen, why have I been unable to make this happen?  

We have all heard the success stories of those who found their other half on the internet. What was I doing wrong, I asked?  I needed to find out, and what better way to become educated than asking a MAN!

About The Author Kathlyn Heim

Kathlyn Heim is an Author and Life & Dating Coach with a new method for building the life you have dreamed about. Her work helps women to overcome the challenges of living and finding love through mid-life, by helping them to discover their potential, their purpose and their inner-strength.

Kathlyn has a passion for helping others overcome challenges and create positive changes in their lives. She believes that each individual has the ability to make the necessary lifestyle and behavioral changes and achieve success in anything they want!

kathlyn heim life and dating coach for women over 40